The Adult ADHD Mindset Shift That Can Help You Achieve More

If you've ever felt stuck in your ADHD management—knowing what you "should" do but never quite doing it—you're not alone. As ADHD therapists in New York, we see this pattern constantly. Adults with ADHD come to us frustrated, armed with strategies that make perfect sense but somehow never stick.

The problem isn't usually the strategy itself. It's the mindset behind it.

Today, I want to share a mindset shift that can transform how you approach ADHD management. Fair warning: it's not the most popular perspective at first. Many people resist it. But once you adopt it, something remarkable happens. You start making real progress toward your goals.

The All-or-Nothing Trap

Here's what we hear all the time in our ADHD therapy practice: "I tried using a calendar, but I forgot to check it, so what's the point?" or "Post-it notes don't work for me because I stopped noticing them after a week."

Sound familiar?

This is all-or-nothing thinking in action. If a strategy doesn't work perfectly and consistently, we write it off completely. We only want to try things we know will succeed, which sounds reasonable on the surface. But this approach leans heavily into perfectionism and fear of failure—two patterns that absolutely do not serve people with ADHD.

When we only do things we're certain will work, we miss out on opportunities. We stay stuck. We rob ourselves of the chance to increase our odds of success, even if we can't guarantee it.

The Mindset Shift: It's About Increasing the Odds

Here's the shift that changes everything: ADHD management is about increasing the odds of achieving our goals, not always achieving them.

Let me be clear. We absolutely want to achieve goals. That's the whole point. But if success is the only acceptable outcome, we'll never try anything that carries even a small risk of failure. And that keeps us trapped.

Think about it differently. What if the goal wasn't perfection? What if the goal was simply to improve your chances?

Real Examples from Our ADHD Therapy Practice

Let's look at two common scenarios we work on with clients at our New York therapy practice.

The Post-It Note Resistance

We often encourage people with ADHD to use post-it notes to externalize memory. This is especially helpful because ADHD impacts executive functions, including working memory. When you write something down and place it where you'll see it, you're no longer relying on your brain to hold that information.

But there's resistance. People feel shame about needing to write things down. "Other people don't have to do this," they say. And that's true. People without ADHD might not need external memory supports.

Here's what's important to understand: this isn't a skill deficit. You know how to remember things. It's a motivation and consistency issue. ADHD is about not doing what you know, when you know you should do it.

So when a client constantly forgets their work ID and gets locked out of the building, we might suggest a bright pink post-it note on their bathroom mirror that says "WORK ID." Simple, right?

The resistance comes fast. It seems too obvious. There's shame. Or they've already decided it won't work, so why bother trying?

But here's the thing: if you don't put up the post-it note, your odds of forgetting remain exactly the same—probably pretty high. If you do put it up, you're not guaranteeing you'll never forget again. But you're increasing your odds of remembering by a significant margin. Maybe 50%. Maybe more.

Who wouldn't want to increase their chances of success by 50%?

The Calendar Struggle

We also work extensively with clients on mastering their calendars. ADHD impacts your ability to visualize and manage time internally, so externalizing time through a calendar helps you see it.

Again, we hear resistance. "I've tried using a calendar before and it didn't work." What they mean is: it didn't work perfectly. They missed some appointments. They forgot to check it sometimes. So they gave up.

But what if the standard wasn't perfection? What if using a calendar increased your odds of being on time by even 30%? Wouldn't that be worth it?

When we shift from "this has to work every single time" to "this increases my chances of success," everything opens up. We give ourselves permission to practice. To get better over time. To acknowledge that progress doesn't mean perfect.

Moving from Perfectionism to Growth

This mindset shift moves you from a perfectionist mindset into a growth mindset. And it relieves an enormous amount of pressure.

You're no longer setting yourself up for failure by demanding perfection. You're acknowledging that ADHD management is a practice. You'll have wins and setbacks. The strategies you use won't work 100% of the time, and that's okay. What matters is that they increase your odds.

This perspective helps you stay open to trying new strategies. You're less likely to write something off after one unsuccessful attempt. You start building a toolkit of supports that work for you most of the time, which is what matters.

Why This Works for ADHD Therapy in New York (and Everywhere)

In our ADHD therapy practice in New York City, we work with busy adults juggling demanding jobs, relationships, and all the chaos that comes with living in a fast-paced environment. Perfectionism doesn't work here. There's too much going on. Life is too unpredictable.

What works is flexibility. Adaptability. And a willingness to use strategies that improve your odds, even when those strategies aren't perfect.

The work we do in ADHD therapy goes much deeper and more complex than post-it notes and calendars. But these simple examples illustrate a principle that applies across the board: progress over perfection.

Your Next Steps

If you're struggling with ADHD management and finding yourself stuck in all-or-nothing thinking, consider this mindset shift. Ask yourself: "How can I increase the odds that I'll achieve my goal?" instead of "What will guarantee I'll achieve my goal?"

That small change in perspective can open up possibilities you've been dismissing. It can help you feel less shame about needing supports that others don't need. It can help you practice and improve over time, rather than giving up when something doesn't work perfectly.

And if you're looking for support in making this shift, that's exactly what we do. At PRGRS Therapy, our entire team specializes in ADHD therapy for adults across New York State. We help people develop practical strategies, challenge perfectionism, and make real progress toward their goals.

You don't have to figure this out alone. If you want to learn more about how we can help you, book a free consultation today