ADHD and Time Optimism: Why You're Always Running Behind (And How to Finally Catch Up)

Do you constantly underestimate how long tasks will take? Think your morning routine takes 10 minutes when it really takes 40? Feel like you're perpetually behind, no matter how hard you try to keep up?

If you have ADHD, you're experiencing something called "time optimism"—and you're far from alone.

As an ADHD therapist in New York City, I work with working professionals every day who struggle with this exact issue. The good news? Time optimism isn't about laziness, lack of care, or poor character. It's about brain wiring. And more importantly, there are concrete strategies that can help.

Understanding Time Optimism and ADHD

Time optimism means consistently believing tasks will take less time than they actually do. For people with ADHD, this pattern repeats over and over, creating a cascade of challenges that affect every area of life.

But why does this happen?

ADHD involves impairments in executive function—the set of cognitive skills that help us plan, organize, and manage time. When these functions are affected, accurately gauging how long something will take becomes genuinely difficult. It's not a choice or a personality flaw; it's a difference in how your brain processes and perceives time.

The Real-World Impact of Time Optimism

When time optimism becomes a daily pattern, the consequences extend far beyond occasionally running late. Let's look at how this shows up:

Personal Impact

You're always playing catch-up. Deadlines slip by. Self-care gets pushed to "later" (which never comes). The cycle creates feelings of shame and guilt that compound over time. There's no breathing room—just an endless race to the next task that somehow took longer than you thought.

Relationship Strain

Friends wait 30 minutes at the restaurant. Your partner asks when you'll finish that household project you promised to complete "this weekend"—three weekends ago. People in your life may lose patience, not understanding that you're not trying to be inconsiderate. Relationships can become strained or fractured when time optimism creates a pattern of unmet expectations.

Professional Consequences

At work or school, the stakes are even higher. Missing deadlines, arriving late to meetings, and underestimating project timelines can make you appear unreliable—even when you're working incredibly hard. In severe cases, this can jeopardize your job or academic standing.

The weight of these consequences often feels overwhelming. But there's a path forward.

How to Become More Time Realistic: A Practical Strategy

Here's the truth: You don't need to perfectly estimate every task, every project, every commitment. That's an unrealistic standard for anyone, ADHD or not.

Instead, focus on something more manageable: getting really accurate at timing your daily repetitive tasks.

When you know exactly how long your routine tasks take, you create buffer space in your schedule for the unexpected. You build a foundation of realistic time awareness that ripples through your entire day.

Here's how to do it:

Step 1: Identify Your Repetitive Tasks

Sit down and list everything you do regularly. This includes your morning routine, getting ready for work, answering emails, commuting, your nighttime routine, making coffee, walking the dog—anything that happens daily or several times per week.

Step 2: Track for 2-3 Weeks (Or Longer—That's Okay)

For the next few weeks, time these tasks as you do them. Write down how long each one actually takes. Yes, this requires some effort. Yes, it can feel tedious. But the payoff is substantial.

And here's something important: This doesn't have to be perfect or consecutive. If you can get five to seven data points for your morning routine spread over four months, that's still valuable. The goal is collecting real data, not adhering to a rigid timeline.

Step 3: Calculate Your Averages

After you've collected your data, calculate the average time for each task. Use a simple spreadsheet or even paper and pen. You'll likely be surprised by some of the results—tasks you thought took 15 minutes might actually take 35 (on average).

Step 4: Build a Visual Calendar

Take those averages and block them into your calendar. When you can see a 30-minute block for your morning routine (not the 10 minutes you'd been mentally allocating), you start building a schedule based on reality rather than wishful thinking.

This visual representation helps your brain grasp the actual structure of your day. You'll know how much free time you really have, which projects are realistic to take on, and where you need to set boundaries.

Making It Actually Happen: Overcoming ADHD Barriers

If you're thinking, "This sounds great, but I know I won't stick with it," let's address that head-on.

The biggest challenge isn't the tracking itself—it's remembering to do it consistently when you have ADHD. Here are strategies that actually work:

Reduce Friction with Voice Timers

Instead of fumbling with your phone, use Siri or Alexa. Just say, "Set a timer" when you start. When it goes off, note the time. This eliminates multiple steps and makes tracking nearly effortless.

Externalize Your Memory

Your brain might forget, but a bright pink Post-it note on your bathroom mirror won't. Put visual reminders everywhere you do these tasks—on your fridge, by your coffee maker, near your computer. Make them bold, colorful, and impossible to ignore.

Get Accountability Support

Ask a friend, family member, or partner to check in with you daily. A simple "Did you time your tasks today?" text can create the external structure that ADHD brains often need.

Reframe the Timeline

Remember, this isn't about perfection. If it takes you six months to collect enough data points, that's completely fine. The goal is progress, not perfection.

Visualize the Outcome

When motivation dips, remind yourself what life will look like when you're not constantly behind. Picture having time for hobbies, arriving on time to meet friends, feeling in control of your schedule. This vision can provide the boost you need in the moment.

A Note on Self-Compassion and ADHD

There's a harmful misconception that people with ADHD are simply "bad at time management" or "don't care enough" or are "lazy." This couldn't be further from the truth.

Time management challenges with ADHD stem from differences in brain wiring, specifically how executive functions operate. You're not flawed—your brain just processes time differently.

Learning to work with your ADHD brain, rather than against it, is key. That means using external tools (like timers and calendars), building structure that supports your natural tendencies, and practicing self-compassion when things don't go perfectly.

You wouldn't judge someone for needing glasses to see clearly. Time tracking tools and strategies are your glasses for time perception.

Moving Forward: Your Next Steps

Start small. Today, identify three repetitive tasks in your daily routine. Tomorrow, begin timing them. Use whatever method reduces friction—voice timers, phone apps, a kitchen timer, whatever works for you.

As you collect data over the coming weeks, you'll start to see patterns. You'll build a more accurate internal sense of time. And most importantly, you'll create breathing room in your schedule by basing it on reality rather than optimism.

If you're in New York and finding that ADHD is significantly impacting your daily life, professional support can make a tremendous difference. At PRGRS Therapy, we specialize in working with adults with ADHD, providing practical strategies alongside therapeutic support. We serve clients throughout New York State via virtual therapy sessions.

Time optimism doesn't have to control your life. With the right strategies and support, you can build a schedule that actually works for your brain.

Ready to take control of your time management? Contact PRGRS Therapy today to learn how ADHD therapy can help you thrive in New York City and beyond.